February 2012
96 posts
My plan has so many unexpected repercussions. I’m still glad I did it.
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Well I’m basically going to kill myself now because one of my roommates has started sleep talking.
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Punctuation & Grammar Jokes
A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After finishing a drink, the bartender asks it to leave.
A question mark walks into a bar?
Two quotation marks “walk into” a bar.
A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to drink.
The bar was walked into by the passive voice.
Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They...
I found a cheerio that fell down my shirt. I ate it. New low.
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K. I just threw them off of my bed. Now I’ll have to get up if I want to keep eating them. And we all know that’s not going to happen.
I legit feel like I’m going to throw up and I still can’t stop eating the fucking cheerios.
Oh my god. My blog sucks. I’m going to start doing some legitimate blogging (oxymoron?) again really soon.
But for now I’m going to keep live blogging about Cheerios.
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500 Cheerios.
I have officially lost control of my life.
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What's not to love!? →
Seriously. There is nothing bad about this. In fact, I think it’s the best idea ever.
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I want to do a keg stand. But with vodka.
Yeah. I want a keg of vodka. Does that even exist?
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I have eaten 250 Cheerios. I counted.
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Friend: You should make a deal with yourself. If you study for 1 hour you can go get steak in Santa Monica.
Me: No thanks. I'm just going to eat Cheerios straight from the box and feel sorry for myself.
I found a potential condo.
1. It’s nice. And not just by it’s-my-first-place standards. It’s nice by any standards. 2. It’s well located. It’s somewhere between UCLA and Ocean Ave which is perfect because I love Santa Monica. 3. It’s about a 30 second walk from a direct bus route to UCLA that takes less than 20 minutes.
But somewhat more importantly, it’s a short sale property. So...
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Fuck you. My space is for my beanbag chair.
What my roommates said: “We need to find somewhere to put the trashcans.” What my roommates meant: “We’re going to put the trashcans in your space because it’s the only space left in the room since our shit is scattered everywhere else.”
I’ve decided that if I do what I’m thinking of doing then I have to use the next 25 productively.
I am going to learn shit. I am going to do shit. I am going to see shit. I am going to organize my fucking life and get my shit together.
This has been a motivational post.
Sometimes I get these ideas in my head and even though I know I probably shouldn’t go through with them, I just can’t get them out of my head. It’s like inception or some shit. I don’t even know.
Tomorrow I am either going to make a very stupid...
Unfortunately I have no idea how it’s going to turn out.
My dad is definitely going to pull me from UCLA at the end of this year because my grades are going to be shitty. I’m honestly not even that disappointed. Sure, I want to live here but I’d rather do it later when I have money. I don’t really give a shit where I get my bachelors degree.
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First world solution.
Sometimes I buy new clothing instead of doing laundry… Because honestly, it’s faster.
Shiiiiiiiit. I am definitely going to fail my bio exam.
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So apparently UCLA has a policy that says if your roommate dies, you automatically get a 4.0 for the quarter.
It is like the ultimate win-win situation: perfect GPA and no roommate.
(Disclaimer for legal purposes in case either of my roommates die: I do not actually want my roommates dead)
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Shit my other roommate says:
“What’s the Vatican?”
Omg.
But you guys, my tolerance for human stupidity is getting higher. I managed to answer the question without making fun of her ignorance.
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Anonymous asked: Hey scrolling through your blog I saw that you go to UCLA. Do you know anything about Summer courses for intenational students? Are they worth it? Because I was thinking of applying for english as a second language !Thank you xx
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Anonymous asked: try focusing on what you love instead, and giving that more attention. it will help. i promise.
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fredwich asked: This might be beyond your control, seeing that you're having issues with school. But, I hope you have a good day today!
I hate college. I hate college. I hate college. I hate college. I hate college. I hate college. I hate college. I hate college. I hate college. I hate college. I hate college. I hate college. I hate college. I hate college. I hate college. I hate college. I hate college. I hate college. I hate college. I hate college. I hate college. I hate college. I hate college. I hate college. I hate...
I know I should go to sleep. I have the ability to go to sleep (courtesy of Sonata, a.k.a. world’s greatest drug). But there are so many more important things that I could be doing. And by important things, I obviously mean watching tv.
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Re: Israel/Palestine
I am halfway through my answer. I was planning to finish it tonight but I just realized that I have an Italian essay due in 7 hours and I haven’t started :)
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anatomista asked: UCLA has always been my dream school and it's scaring me because all I've only been hearing bad things about it lately!
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I hate that I can’t complain to anyone here because they either got all of their classes, are accepting the fact that they didn’t, or don’t actually give a shit about academics in general.
And I can’t complain to people at home because they’re all like, “You live in LA. Your life is perfect. You have nothing to complain about, etc.”
It seems like there are a few other people who are in the same situation as me in terms of course selection. But unlike me, they are just sitting there complacently and accepting the situation. Some of them are even changing their major because their current one had become “too inconvenient”.
Maybe my problem is that I’m too uncompromising or that I have an unhealthy sense of...
I hate everything about this school...
…and I’m tired of pretending that I don’t.
Fuck science and fuck UCLA.
I pay triple the tuition that 90% of other students pay and I still can’t get into any of the courses that I want. Fuck that. I’ve put in transfer applications at other schools. I am done with this place.
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Every single class I wanted to take next quarter is already full. And my enrollment time isn’t until tomorrow.
What the fuck UCLA?! It shouldn’t be this hard to get into introductory courses. To be honest I don’t feel like I am getting my money’s worth.
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I had a huge bruise on my knee from taking the laundry cart through In-N-Out and now I just fell off of my bunk bed and hit the same spot. It’s going to be such an ugly bruise tomorrow.
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My roommates are snoring. Again.
Well this is awkward.
UCLA CEC started following me. Which I don’t have a problem with except that now I can’t tell you guys about my plan because I’m quite certain that it’s against school rules.
I’m taking a break from tumblr. I’ve got a few messages sitting in my inbox and I will respond to them if/when I decide to start blogging again.
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Apparently someone just wiped semen on the water fountain on my floor. I hate college.